Today has been a fairly bland day, I can't say I'm enjoying it, I feel sort of frustrated with life, its about time I suppose, lately I've just been feeling way too good, I figured a down day was bound to happen soon.. I suppose its today.
My day has consisted of showering, going through my clothing, getting rid of stuff I do not need, sitting outside with my rats and dog, then making soft tacos a box of 8 for one person, I only managed to eat two, I guess my eyes are bigger than my stomach at times.. Or I just smoke way too much ganja, either way, whatever, I'm having an uneventful day. Hopefully tomorrow that changes, I hope to see Sean, that would be great :).
I can't wait for June to roll around, I get to see Michael, I can't wait, I can't wait to wrap my arms around his silly head, I haven't seen him since January, much has changed since but I still love him very much as a person, and he still makes me swoon, but with a little bit of heart-sick attached to it now..
He has made me a better person though, I've got more patiences now, and I'm more content.. Sometimes I sit and listen to his solo disc he give me and just fall apart, how ridiculous am I? I'm such a strong person, yet a huge emotional wreck over small things. I've heard the words "you can do so much better" so many times, but if you only could understand the way I see him, then you'd understand when I fail to agree with you or myself when its I saying the words.This weekend should be okay as well, I hope to see Tyler in the next little wh
ile, it was nice spending those few days with him, hes changed quite a bit... I don't want a relationship of any sort or anything like that but I'd love to have someone I can see regularly, and go on dates with, its a great feeling having those little things, I love them the most in a relationship, and when things start to get serious those little things aren't too important anymore, its just sex, and paying the bills, it sucks, but thats life I suppose, but maybe one day I'll find someone who enjoys the little things as much as I do, and they'll never die down.. That'll be the day, until then I guess I'll keep my options open, and just wait it out for that day... Its quite ironic though, I always get the "you're beautiful, any guy would want you.." yet anyone I'm interested in is looking the other way at the girl with the magnificent rack, then thinking with the lower head, if you get my drift.. I'm not going to blame them though, I check out girls with huge racks too, and I'm the farthest thing from gay.. But maybe I'm just searching in all the wrong areas, although I shouldn't even be worrying about this, I still have about 65 years to find the 'one'. I just hate the process of searching for someone I can be equally balanced with, so maybe I'm just going to give up for now.. 
-Kayla
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